I never liked the advice, "You just need to weather the storm." At least, not regarding the idea of just holding on tightly. White knuckling it and praying for it to end. But it is true, regardless of our work, there certainly is a TIME FACTOR to our equation. That's unavoidable, but I must remind you all it's a factor that is different for us all and is something we can invest in and help shorten our wait.
Above all else. Not engaging in our recovery only stretches out the time we sit in the stew. And in some cases, with the wrong manifestations of benzo-induced conditions (i.e., rumination, agoraphobia, etc.), we can find ourselves arrested in our recovery. We may find ourselves caught in the undertow of a circular problem. That is to say, a problem that seems to fuel its own escalation of survival.
Time is a factor. The terrible T in Benzo recovery.
And we all desperately ruminate over the question, "When will my time be?"
Or, "Will my time ever be... again?"
Let me answer the second question right now. YES. Your time absolutely will be. I can promise you that.
Benzo recovery is a game of attrition and endurance. It's a game of heart. Soul. And of good instincts.
As a Benzo coach who has worked with countless people worldwide, I can sincerely and honestly tell you that we all do heal. You, too, will heal. But how long will it take?
Again, I can only tell you that if you work towards your recovery (in the right ways), you will expedite the process. But I also want to say something about what it can look like once the latter part of the process happens. Because when we finally start winning again, it can all happen quite suddenly! I used to think it was some Benzo myth, the idea that we could wake up one day and Benzo withdrawal suffering was over, or at least, suddenly mostly over. But then I started having clients that experienced this. The more people I worked with, the more I heard these stories directly from the people themselves!
Naturally, it opened my eyes and changed my mind. I knew it was absolutely possible. Not only that, but it wasn't even all that rare.
Most of us will not just wake up one day and be 90% better. I'm not trying to get everyone to play the lottery, but it certainly could happen to you. However, what I usually see the most is a kind of momentum shift that quickly picks up speed! And that's pretty good news, my friends.
I've worked with countless people who were utterly laid up sick in bed, riddled with symptoms, and unable to leave their homes, and then two months later, they were at their kid's soccer games.
Much of what I do and see as a coach is helping people first realize they're in a tug-of-war match with their limbic systems and helping motivate them to pull their ropes intelligently and fiercely. Eventually, we gain the edge and momentum, and then it happens. A window. It may be small at first, but it's HUGE. It's our receipt for the nervous system telling us the good news, it's still here! It can still regain balance and function efficiently. There is hope!
I always sit smiling because I know it's just a matter of time and effort for all of you.
One window breeds another window, breeds another. But be careful because even this isn't a linear process and old trauma responses threaten to turtle us back up and strip away our momentum. This often is crushing to our hope. Don't let it be. It's okay to take a step back to move forward. Healing isn't strictly linear. Don't lose your edge. Don't give in to those emotions of frustration and fear. It's okay. It's all part of the process. Don't get stuck in the Yo-Yo phase! When it starts to happen, my friends, your healing will build up steam and momentum. Like a snowball rolling downhill. Be patient. Open your heart. Stay dedicated.
And above all else. Keep that window unlocked!
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