For many going through benzo withdrawal, the physical symptoms alone are exhausting, but the emotional toll of feeling unsupported by family and friends can be just as painful. When those closest to us don’t understand or worse, blame or gaslight us, it can feel like an even greater betrayal. Forgiveness, in this context, becomes not just an emotional release but a necessary step in reclaiming our peace. It’s about choosing to free ourselves from the emotional weight of resentment toward those who have failed to show up for us and, instead, giving ourselves the space to heal.
Forgiveness, particularly in the context of benzo withdrawal, doesn’t mean excusing the behavior of others—it means releasing the emotional burden that their lack of support has caused. It’s easy to hold onto resentment, anger, and even grief when those we love dismiss or invalidate our pain. But holding onto these negative emotions only serves to prolong our suffering. In fact, the more we cling to anger and frustration, the more it hurts us. Forgiveness is not about the other person—it’s about freeing ourselves from the emotional grip of their actions. It’s about choosing peace over resentment, understanding that forgiveness doesn’t change the past, but it can change the way we experience the present.
When family or friends don’t understand the complexities of benzo withdrawal, it’s easy to feel betrayed, especially if they’ve downplayed your struggles or accused you of overreacting. The challenge here is to acknowledge the pain without letting it define you. The feelings of rejection or invalidation can run deep, but it’s important to understand that those who haven’t been supportive are often coming from their own place of ignorance, fear, or misunderstanding. They may not know how to support you, or they might not fully grasp the severity of withdrawal symptoms. In many cases, these individuals are struggling with their own inability to process or cope with what they don’t understand, and unfortunately, this can manifest as blame or avoidance.
Forgiving family and friends who haven’t been there for you doesn’t mean you’re condoning their lack of support. It means that you are choosing to release the emotional weight of their actions and no longer allowing their behavior to control your healing process. This can be a powerful step in regaining control over your emotional health during withdrawal. When we forgive, we free ourselves from the toxic emotions that keep us stuck in a cycle of resentment. Forgiveness allows you to reclaim your peace, rather than letting others’ inability to empathize continue to stir up anger or frustration in your mind.
The next step in this process is to acknowledge the hurt—without minimizing it. It’s okay to feel upset, angry, or disappointed when those you love don’t show up for you in the way you need. These feelings are valid. In fact, acknowledging the pain is essential to healing. When we avoid or suppress our emotions, we end up holding onto them for much longer. By admitting to ourselves that we are hurt by the lack of support, we begin to create the emotional space needed to process the hurt and ultimately release it. This acknowledgment is a first step toward emotional liberation—the recognition that while we cannot control others’ actions, we can control how we choose to respond to them.
It’s also important to shift your perspective—not necessarily in a way that excuses their behavior, but in a way that helps you see the situation through a different lens. Often, people who don’t understand benzo withdrawal have a limited view of what the experience is really like. They may not know how to support you because they don’t know what it feels like to be in your shoes. By practicing empathy toward them, we free ourselves from holding onto the idea that they should have been better or more understanding. It’s about recognizing that their ignorance doesn’t have to affect your emotional well-being. While it can be painful, sometimes people’s inability to be supportive is a reflection of their own limitations—not a reflection of your worth or your struggle.
In this process of forgiveness, you can also release the need for validation from those who have failed to understand. Sometimes we seek understanding from others because we feel like their approval or empathy is what we need to heal. But forgiveness means releasing the idea that others’ opinions or actions can validate our experience. You don’t need permission from others to feel what you feel or to go through what you’re going through. You are valid, even if no one else recognizes your struggle. By forgiving those who have hurt us, we can stop seeking approval and find validation in our own experience and growth.
Forgiveness is also about giving yourself permission to heal. When we’re stuck in anger or resentment, we are emotionally tied to the past. Forgiveness is an act of moving forward—not forgetting what happened, but letting go of the emotional charge it carries. It allows you to reclaim your emotional health, focus on your recovery, and stop letting the actions of others dictate your emotional state. It’s an ongoing process. You may need to forgive your family and friends again and again as feelings of frustration resurface, but each time you do, you’ll be creating more space for healing and peace.
Ultimately, forgiveness is not about what others deserve—it’s about what you need to heal. When you let go of the anger and pain caused by the lack of support, you’re not doing it for them—you’re doing it for yourself. By practicing forgiveness, you free yourself from the toxic emotional cycles that keep you stuck in a place of pain. This doesn’t mean you condone others’ actions, but it does mean you’re choosing to move forward with more peace and strength. In your recovery, forgiveness will allow you to heal not only from withdrawal symptoms but also from the emotional scars of unmet expectations and unhealed wounds caused by those closest to you.
Until next time, keep going!
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