Well, my friends, after a few years of hard work and many obstacles, we have finally finished our Benzo recovery full-length feature film, LAKE OF FIRE. This film began as a short film, intended only to be around 15-20 minutes long. However, I had written a full-length script as well that I would have loved to produce, we just didn't have the funds to do something on that level. Making a film is beyond difficult, I can only assure you. It's a hell of a thing to do with countless moving parts and a million things that can go wrong (and often do) at any given moment. A twenty-minute film is not a small mission in itself, but a ninety-minute film is just another beast altogether.
After our first few days of shooting, there was this energy between all of us and everyone had become increasingly dedicated to the cause of the project. It was evident we had chemistry, and everyone was uniquely invested in this film. One day, after a shoot, the lead actress, Sarah, asked me why I did not make it longer. She said, "If we make it 45 minutes long, we technically have a feature, by film festival standards." This got me thinking. Our team got together and discussed going all the way with the film, but we needed everyone to be sure they could commit. We didn't have much of a budget, which meant everyone would need to really chip in and go the extra mile. After a short discussion, we were all in, and things changed drastically.
We reworked the script, secured the locations for shoots, and were able to raise a few more dollars to help with the funds. To my shock, many people donated to the film. We raised around $7K to help make this project possible. That may seem like a lot of money, but in terms of making a film, that's almost nothing. Still, it was enough to push us forward significantly. I donated a considerable amount of money myself and made the rest work. We didn't have a big team. There were only a few of us. Luckily, I spent the last twenty years working as a neo-renaissance artist. I had many skills relevant to filmmaking to pull from, and we had already completed several short films over the past few years. We knew the film would be a long shot, and there was a good chance it might not come out very well, but we had to go for it. We had to do our part.
There were many obstacles, such as COVID-19, which eventually worked its way through the set. One by one, most of the cast and crew eventually got sick. Each time, we'd have to shut down production for weeks or even months. I ultimately got COVID, which developed into long-COVID. I developed bad breathing issues and terrible insomnia. This went on for almost a year. Around this time, our lead actress also had become pregnant and was dealing with pregnancy pains and morning sickness. This meant further losing some days while also working against the clock. Next, an old nagging neck injury came back to haunt me, the same one that actually put me on benzos in the first place. One morning, I was brushing my teeth when I bent my head back to gargle some mouthwash and suddenly felt a sharp electrical pain in my neck that radiated down my left arm. Incredible neurological pain followed and stayed with me for months. By the next morning, I had lost 80% of the strength and function in my left arm, and my fingers were numb. I spent the next year visiting neurologists and rehabilitating the injury. Again, we lost a lot of time on the film.
Then there were a couple of hurricanes, which flooded our studio and fried the computers. We didn't lose the footage, although we did lose some, but we lost all of the editing we had done over the past year. That was soul-crushing. Hundreds of hours of edits were lost. So, we rebuilt the film again, spending hundreds of hours again, only to encounter a random virus in the new computer, which compromised the editing once more. We lost hours and hours of work multiple times, as the edits would be lost. Eventually, I had to invest in yet another costly computer, which needed to handle roughly 6-8 terabytes of footage. It felt like the film had come together with divine orchestration, but some demonic force was sabotaging the post-production. It was one thing after another. I started to worry significantly that this film wouldn't be finished and that I would have let everyone down. It pained me deeply.
Eventually, we got there and were able to finish the film!
We held a private screening in Sanford, Florida, on November 17th at the Ritz Theater. We were flooded with emotions, oscillating between sheer excitement and anticipation and dread and fear. The thing about making a film is you never know what you have, even when you finish putting it all together. We thought the film worked and we had something special, but would others? One never knows. To our surprise, the film was very well recieved, not just by people who understood benzo withdrawal, but by so many others who didn't. I think that surprised me the most. I spoke to many people later in the morning, standing outside the theater, about the film, mental illness, big pharma, and what it means to heal from trauma. I'm not being dramatic when I say there wasn't a dry eye in the building after the film ended. It was absolutely incredible.
We hosted a short online viewing party at the Benzo Recovery School, and the students seemed to really love it. Their feedback further solidified the idea that we had achieved our goals, which included validating everyone's experiences with acute withdrawal, spreading awareness, and helping get our friends and family emotionally invested in our fight. A film has a powerful way of putting us in the protagonist's seat, to see through their eyes and get a sense of their unique world. In this way, people watching the film understood what it was like to go through Benzo withdrawal and recovery. We thought that was extremely important.
We are now running the film through many festivals to spread awareness and gain distribution. It's possible someone will see the film and want to invest in it and help us further get the word out. If so, this could be huge for the cause. Our fingers are crossed. There's a website for the film that will share news and media as it becomes available, which can be found at www.LakeofFirefilm.com
I'll also be sharing news in the Benzo school and in this blog, so keep your eyes open for that. Perhaps consider signing up for the newsletter. There's a fair chance the film will be shown at a festival near you if you want to attend the screening. We are projecting a full release during the third or fourth quarter 2025. However, I will also be sharing it in the Benzo school for short periods (24 hours) periodically, with the next release scheduled around Christmas. There will be more interesting things coming regarding the film, such as behind-the-scenes interviews with the cast and crew, media on festival coverage and press releases, as well as a new trailer for the film and some merchandise.
Additionally, we are planning another private screening sometime in March or April here in Central Florida. More news will come soon if you want to try to attend. We would love to have you there.
Thank you for all of your continued support and your patience! The project took much longer to finish than we intended, but as they say, you can't rush art. I believe this film is a piece of art, and we couldn't be more happy with it and everyone who helped make it possible. If you donated to the film, you have a special film credit at the end. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you so very much!
Until next time, keep going.
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